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ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

SMART MAN + SMART WOMAN= ROMANCE

SMART MAN + DUMB WOMAN0= AFFAIR

DUMB MAN + SMART WOMAN= MARRIAGE

DUMB MAN + DUMB WOMAN= PREGANANCY

OFFICE ARITHMETHIC

SMART BOSS + SMART EMPLOYEE= PROFIT

SMART BOSS +DUMB EMPLOYEE= PRODUCTION

DUMB BOSS + SMART EMPLOYEE= PROMOTION

DUMB BOSS + DUMB EMPLOYEE= OVERTIME

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay P200 for a P100 item he needs.

A woman will pay P100 for a P200 item she does not need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS AND STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband

A man never worries about the future until she gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she doesn’t.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in a any argument.

Anything a man says, after that is the beginning of the argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BEGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunties used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next.” They stopped me after I started doing the same thing to them at the funerals.